October 10, 2007

Why I’m not sending my sister an Online Birthday Card

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:00 am by dgcombs

O, well, it could say, Why your birthday card is late! Today is my sister’s birthday. She’s, uh… older today. So I started worrying about sending her a card last week. I did a good job. I worried on my way to the office. I worried on my way home. Somehow, I never got around to worrying while I was standing in front of hundreds upon hundreds of humorous, witty, loving, sly and just plain cute birthday cards at Walmart or Eckerd (now Rite-Aid) or Kroger or (for cryin’ out loud) Starbucks! I’ve got two bucks in my pocket. They’re sole purpose in life was to buy you a birthday card and ONE stamp.
Of course, it could be worse. I could not have two dollars in my pocket. But that’s a worry for another time.

Which brings me to my point. This morning, while sitting in traffic, I realized that October had wound its way to the tenth just more time while I hadn’t a single birthday card to my name. No problem, I thought. Everyone is sending out birthday greetings by computer. Halmark and American Greetings and… and… are there any other card companies these days? Well, if there are, then they too have an online version of their cards. And they’ll happily ship one dollop of bits organized in the form of a card, with a little embedded ditty and a two line personal note. For two bucks.

And then I remember this dire warning from ZDNet. Apparently, it is so important to push out these viruses that they’re pulling out all the stops. So rather than participate in the camouflage that surrounds these evil doers, I’m going to struggle back to the car. Drive all the way to Kroger… or maybe even the Hallmark store! I’m going to find those two dollars and plunk them down on the counter and actually BUY some cardboard with no catchy tune on the inside. I’m going to take an actual pen out of my other pocket and use my hands to write a personal note in INK! And then… and then… and then… I’m going to fumble around in my backpack for that old, worn “”book”” of stamps. I’m so sorry that they are self-adhesive… ’cause I’d prefer to LICK it myself! And then I’m going to shove it in a mailbox. LATE.

And THAT’s how you’re going to get your birthday card. In the MAIL. Like God intended. And anyway, isn’t it about time you updated your blog? It’s been nearly a year now! And I suppose you missed out on the fact that not only are you famous… but people are quoting you now. See? I told you!Have a happy birthday! and just wait until you get your card!


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